patience

Home. I rushed through the door today after countless hours of studying and a quick detour to the Old Navy (because a girl needs cheap pants that won't last very long, right?) with one thought in mind. COFFEE. Any other day I would have stopped by Starbucks and gladly sipped on their several sugar laden, bad for the world coffee but today was special. Yesterday C priority mailed Octane coffee for me from Atlanta. The irony of him being there for a month after I moved to Texas is NOT lost on me.

Shit. 

As I'm on the phone with C, I literally blurt it out. I forgot to stop by H.E.B. Which is another Texas thing. Georgia, well, Atlanta is full of Public, Fresh Market, Whole Food and even a brand spankin' new Sprout but no H.E.B. So I had to rush outside in weather that freezes my nose and turns by mitten-less hands bright red to buy some milk. Let me tell you, it was so worth it. I haven't drank coffee that velvety and delicious since I came to Texas a couple of months ago. There are so many things about Texas that take my breath away. Especially C!

I am constantly in awe of his patience with me. I pride myself in a lot of qualities, patience being at the lowest (both literally and figuratively.) He may have many qualities that need improving, honestly I can't think of even on, but he is so patient with me. He tries to understand, and hides dark chocolate in the house, brings me flowers every week, religiously follows through with date nights and loves my family so well! So since he's been gone I've had to be patient especially with myself. After long hard days.

So here's to hoping that this week flies by and I get to be home with my fiancee, girlfriends and most importantly my crazy fun family! And learning patience each day. ;)

everything's bigger

     It's hard to believe that it's only been a week since I packed up all my worldly possessions and moved across the country. Are you allowed to grow as a person in such a short period of time? I feel at peace. Without the crutch of comfort and familiarity, I have been forced to do things by myself on many occasions and it's been good. Have you ever thrown yourself head first into a situation without knowing the outcome but knowing (hoping) that God will catch you? That is the best way I can describe my experience so far in the Lone Star state. C is wonderful to me, as always. He is kind and patient with my many breakdowns. Believe me, there have been plenty. Few nights ago, I was pouring myself a glass of milk before bed and the tears just kept on rolling down my cheek. It's like I'm going through some big emotional detox that I never thought I needed. Those first couple days, tears came from joy, frustration, burnt suppers, overwhelming clutter, homesickness and sometimes loneliness. He nursed and nursed and nursed and nursed my heart filling those tiny holes of family and best friends with promises of new adventures. 

     So here I am, sitting in my still cluttered, full of boxes apartment because C had some army business to tend to tonight, completely at peace with this. If you know me, you know that I tend to make a lot of "leap of faith" decisions. Not in a reckless way but in a "this will be really hard but it's something I need to do to grow" way. We have these wonderful neighbors. Especially two older couples. They say things to me like, "You look just beautiful hon, go out in the town" with suave cowboy hats and massive belt buckles. And remind me that southern hospitality calls for C to treat me to dinner when I have "such a pretty sundress on." I'm sure that when people told me that everything was bigger in Texas, it included peoples hearts. 

     I know there are still many more hurdles to overcome before Texas is "home" but ending this week on a good note is something I cannot cloud.